To a person in any business, the concept of slack
resources or reserves is very familiar. Take airlines, as one example, for
which time is a key resource. It determines the scheduling of flight and
airport times, of particular interest to the flying traveler. If an airline
schedules flights too tightly, even a small delay at one stop could throw off
the timing of the remaining arrivals and departures for any particular route. Too
loose, and money is lost and customers may complain about delays.
But it’s not just businesses that are concerned with
slack resources. We regular folks are as well. If you make $1000 per month and
have normal expenditures of $950, all is well so long as the former does not go
down much or the latter up much. If your bank account is at $25, and
expenditures come in at $1050, you are short. Inadequate slack financial resources.
OK, enough of that stuff. I think you get the point.
Slack resources, no matter how used, refers to reserves of some kind, buffers against
the unexpected or undesirable. My particular interest is in inadequate slack emotional
resources.
We’ve all known folks who are “wired,” tightly coiled and
living in more or less permanent agitation. Or, folks who have their “insult”
detectors on overdrive. Often low in self esteem, they are on constant alert
for what they see as insults, detecting them constantly, usually where none exists.
Or, folks who simply see their views as sacrosanct, and hate being disagreed
with. The “offender” has to be set straight. Or, the narcissist who sees
everything in terms of himself, and dislikes others having the center stage
which he believes is his alone to occupy. Or, the person who has powerful
expectations that the world will do exactly as he wants. Since the world is not
so accommodating, he experiences emotional turmoil that he “generously” exports
to others. Or, the person who sees himself as a victim, finding victimizers
everywhere. Or, the perennial, garden-variety counter puncher. He appears to
have no control over his need to criticize whatever he does not like,
evidencing little interest in reflective thought and conversation. And the list
goes on.
These folks have low or no slack emotional reserves, and
are emotionally unbalanced, at least in the moment. They need the world to do
their bidding. When it does not, they act out. And like it or not, we all are,
at least occasionally, members of this less-than-illustrious group. From time
to time, all of us may be wired or sensitive or irritated or depressed to some
degree, times when we lose emotional balance. Never suffering in silence, our
acting out disturbs and often harms others. But it could be worse for us and
others---our condition may be chronic.
Having low emotional resources is seldom an either/or
thing. They may be adequate in some situations, but not in others. I know a
woman who has great slack emotional resources at work, even with considerable
pressure on her. But at home she has no patience with her spouse, being constantly
prickly, easily offended and just as easily angered.
Social fragmentation and uncertainty are on the rise,
increasing stress levels and encouraging incivility. Low emotional reserves
show up most in stressful conditions, whether personal or societal. The greater
the stress level, the lower anyone’s threshold of negative reactivity.
Low or absent emotional slack resources means trouble for
everyone. But people with high levels have greater equanimity, and export that
to others. They handle life’s challenges with as little upset as possible, both
to themselves and to others. So, how do we improve? As with nearly everything
dealing with emotional issues, the key is unflinchingly increasing our
self-awareness. Only then can we uncover our sensitivities, emotional triggers,
and defensive reactions, our unique conditions of weak emotional reserves. While
necessary, self-awareness alone is insufficient to produce the health outcome
of increased emotional resources. There must also be a courageous commitment to
change, which recognizes that our patterns of mis-behavior have arisen over
many years, are solidly entrenched, and not eradicated in any short time.
The need to increase our emotional reserves is greater
than ever. Damaging personal, familial, and societal forces and stresses
(including our own unhealthy needs) are pushing us into reactive states where
we cause ourselves and others to suffer needlessly. If we wish to see greater
community and civility, must start with ourselves, or we are hypocrites.
