Selective
perception is a form of bias that causes people to perceive messages and
actions according to their frame of reference. Using selective perception,
people tend to overlook or forget information that contradicts their beliefs or
expectations. (reference.com)
“A cognitive bias
refers to a systematic pattern of deviation from norm or
rationality in judgment, whereby inferences about other people
and situations may be drawn in an illogical fashion.” (Wikipedia) Such biases
can diminish quality thinking, if not eliminate it entirely. Just one of nearly two hundred cognitive biases, selective perception is particularly important in view of its everyday impact on our relations with others.
Selective perception protects the absolute primacy of our views with a huge emotional investment. Fairness, respect, and openness hold not sway with a person in the grip of selective perception. The condition is often vigorously denied, in part because it is usually lodged in the unconscious.
When we are confronted with people we don't like or who disagree with us, fear instantly activates defensive/attacking mechanisms. Among the more injurious of these are self-righteous moral condemnation, verbal and non-verbal attacks, mis-representations, outright lies, emotional outbursts (especially anger), and manipulative withdrawal or guilt trips. But even politely delivered simple counter-punching will do the job of eliminating thought in favor of an emotionally-driven selective perception agenda. The result of any such conflict interaction is a hardening of each person's original view and distorted visions of reality, which seriously compromises conversations and often relationships.
Everyone knows that people see things differently. For all kinds of reasons my various frames of reference are different from yours. The same data or information can mean different things to two people. In general, most people interpret a given data set in one way or another primarily for emotional or psychological reasons first, and then adduce support from facts or "facts." In his fine book, The Righteous Mind, psychologist Jonathan Haidt says, Part I is about the first principle: Intuitions come first, strategic reasoning second. Moral intuitions arise automatically and almost instantaneously , long before moral reasoning has a chance to get started, and those first intuitions tend to drive our later reasoning. A very dangerous proposition when what passes for moral reasoning is seriously flawed, substantially and unknowingly biased by selective perception. Falsely believing we are thinking, we act harmfully toward those who disagree.
Slightly more poetic is Nietzsche's comment: "Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings---always much darker, emptier and simpler."
As an innocuous example, you may see today's world as generally better than, or at least as good as, the past. You may even see the latter as bad. I tend to see the past as having many good things, some of which got thrown out when the not-so-good things got properly tossed (anti-gay and patriarchal attitudes). And I see the present as less beneficial than much of the past. I recognize the feeling of emotional comfort from holding these positions. That's a warning to me. I must watch for irrational responses coming solely from that emotional base of comfort, and its attendant sense of rightness, when I encounter a person who sees the past and present differently than I do. A warning to me, and to us all---when we feel emotionally comfortable and like a particular opinion, we could easily act our harmfully.
Selective perception occurs even with scientists, people who place high emphasis on objectivity and the avoidance of biases. Consider the situation of Robert Schock, professor of Natural Sciences at Boston Univ. He has advocated the sides of Egypt's sphinx enclosure were eroded by water rather than wind, as has been argued for ages by mainstream Egyptologists. Astounded and irritated in the extreme by his view, which could upset their "established" theory and historical timelines, some of the latter led ad hominem attacks against Schock. Whether Schock is right or wrong is not relevant for my purposes. What is relevant is that he did what science calls for, and the opponents embarrassed themselves with personal hostility. The opponents' first reactions were almost entirely emotional. Only after the fact did they try to bring rational arguments to support those initial reactions.
Selective perception means we see what we want to see,
remember what we want to remember. We are captured by our emotional needs for
specific outcomes, fracturing any chance for quality interactions with those
who differ. Many people afflicted with selective perception do as the
scientists did with Professor Shock, imagining they are rational since they
have ex post facto reasons for their positions. Those arguments may be correct,
but that is not the problem. It is the emotional content with which they hold
these arguments to be true, and the unpleasant acting out accompanying that.
Especially if they have good arguments, being captured by selective perception
usually means being unable to see valid counter arguments. Conversations
characterized by selective perception usually mean a scenario of “I win, you
lose.” Anything contradicting the favored views must be demolished.
As with nearly all cognitive biases, we cannot see what
we cannot see. Or perhaps do not see what we do not wish to see. We take the
goodness with which we see ourselves at face value---we are correct and the
other is wrong. But our underlying agitation is one of fear and the need to
prevail over an obstacle, neither of which can be acknowledged. Such blindness
causes all sorts of conversation and relationship problems. All the more reason
to become aware of our selective perception issues and to eliminate them.
Doing that requires three things at a minimum. The will
and courage to become aware of potentially negative things we do not perceive,
to listen to those who see our falseness, and to implement that which we would
emotionally prefer to avoid.
We can transform ourselves into the type of person we all
admire---one who is truly tolerant, respectful and open, unhindered by
selective perception. It is do-able.
