Self-Interest and Labeling

Self-interest is a fascinating topic for me, given as it is often in bad odor with some folks. Yet, self-interest is a necessary component of human existence. Like many other human characteristics, it is neither a purely good thing nor a purely bad thing. Self-interest is most helpfully seen as a continuum, with absolutes at each end. At one end is total self-interest, in which others’ needs are irrelevant. At the other end is total non-self-interest (or total other interest), in which my needs are irrelevant. Nearly all of us are somewhere between the two end points, separated by degrees of difference.

But I am actually doing a disservice to self-interest’s complexity. While we fall at some arbitrarily defined spot on the continuum, we may move around depending on the issues, our age, emotional condition, preferences, etc. One continuum is insufficient to explain the complexities, but the image suffices for understanding that conversing about such a difficult issue demands flexible and open thinking.

Such thinking is tough enough to come by under normal conditions, but things can get very unpleasant when people sense that others have different views. This applies especially because  self-interest is often equated with selfishness, seen by many as even more negative than self-interest. We have a distinct penchant for lauding ourselves and our friends for our moral uprightness, and an opposite penchant for demeaning those who do not think as we do. We may label a person as selfish, and with a word and a flourish we have condemned him completely. Such labeling ignores any differences that are explained in a much more subtle fashion by degrees of separation. But when our need to be right is at stake, in our world we get to do whatever we want---a sad moral failure.

There is also the issue of motives, and the often wrong stories we tell ourselves about how good we are. People who think of themselves as compassionate and sensitive to the feelings and experiences of others, especially those who are troubled, see themselves as unselfish and their motives as positive---not unreasonably. However, they also tend to see those without the same level of other interest as less moral or less humanely sensitive, a bit of moral superiority. It is this hubris, and the need to be right that often goes along with it, that leads us to categorical condemnation, to negative labeling. There is no gray, only good (me) and bad (him). Regardless of complicating factors (recall multiple continua), he is judged as completely uncaring of others, and must be punished. Surely some people are largely selfish, but that is not the issue. When we negatively categorize others we actually demean ourselves and add to the societal challenges of incivility.

And motives are often complicated things. One can have a conscious motive to want to help the disadvantaged, or at least be sensitive to their need for help. But because much of what we think, feel and do arises from our unconscious, a person with a laudable conscious motive may also (not necessarily does) have a less laudable unconscious motive at the same time---wanting to be perceived by others as especially sensitive and morally upright. The problem, as we know, is that the less laudable motive is invisible and thus deniable. This allows the person to feel morally superior and avoid the complications of potential hypocrisy, or at least of a perceived lowered moral condition.

In addition to avoiding hypocrisy, labeling a person as selfish allows the labeler to avoid any thinking. As we know from my earlier blogs, assessments of those deemed selfish, as just one negative labeling example, are driven primarily by emotions, with carefully selected “facts” added later. Labelers also ignore the complications of their own situations, which in the normal human condition are exemplified by degrees of difference in almost everything. Labelers tend to see many aspects of the world in black and white terms---what I have referred to as two-valued reasoning, which is hardly reasoning at all.

Making our society a better and more thoughtful place is certainly a positive goal, especially being sensitive to the challenges facing those in difficulty. Negative labeling accomplishes nothing in this vein. But it does make people more hostile to each other, thereby contributing paradoxically to making our society overall less humane rather than more.

Appreciating the dangers of labeling, particularly regarding selfishness, provides us opportunities for real thinking and conversing. This leads to uplifting conversations which assist us in addressing the misfortunes impacting others, and in making our society overall more compassionate and tolerant.