"Rest"

In David Whyte’s book, Consolations, is a chapter called “Rest.”  

“We are rested when we are a living exchange between what lies inside and what lies outside, when we are an intriguing conversation between the potential that lies in our imagination and the possibilities for making that internal image real in the world; we are rested when we let things alone and let ourselves alone, to do what we do best.”

As always with Whyte, a lot to chew on. We often associate rest with doing nothing or relaxing. Yet Whyte is not talking about a static condition, but about one readying for understanding, for possibilities and their realization. Resting in Whyte’s sense means pausing to reflect and offer ourselves space for the “living exchange” and for an “intriguing conversation.” Such an exchange implies courage and an openness to see clearly what lies within us, the good and the baggage, and to see external reality with similarly unblinkered eyes. Only this honesty allows for an ongoing, beneficial conversation about our possibilities, impossible if we “see through a glass darkly.” And only this honesty gives us the opportunity to make real our potential. Irrational biases, the need for things to be one way rather than another, conscious or unconscious fears, and unrealistic expectations undermine any “intriguing conversation.”

This conversation is not about forcing our visualized potential, but having it arise naturally and easily from the dialogue of inner and outer. Rest in Whyte’s terms corresponds somewhat to the Taoist concept of Wu-wei, effortless effort and non-attachment, introduced a few posts back. He is closest to these when he refers to letting things and ourselves go, just doing what we do best. Acting with such unintentional intention means to have lived (and continue to live) the “intriguing conversation.” It requires that we have come to easy and healthy terms with the connections between our innermost state and the external one, whatever those are. Actions now arise spontaneously and effortlessly, flowing like water, and bringing fruition to our potential.

We are a bemused species, capable of much and blind to even more. In our fear and confusion, we often mistake ourselves for something we are not, and interpret reality as something it is not.The combination is deadly. “Rest” and Wu-wei are nearly impossible if we fail to see this, and to courageously address it.

Whyte also says, “Rested, we are ready for the world but not held hostage to it, rested we care again for the right things and the right people in the right way. In rest we reestablish the goals that make us more generous, more courageous, more of an invitation….” When not held hostage to the world (really our concept of it as we want it to be), we have the freedom to act beneficially, to be more generous and courageous. Many good folks I know espouse positive values like respect for difference, compassion, and openness. But they unwittingly obstruct the implementation of those because they are held hostage and attached to a biased view, undesirable value, or ideology. Accepted as correct without question, the sad result is often poor behavior and hypocrisy, clearly visible to others, but not to them.

Seeing through a glass clearly often requires the assistance of others. Convinced we know exactly who and what we are, and sure of our assessment of reality, we act the bull-in-the-china shop, blindly and unthinkingly damaging ourselves and others. But it is only those others who often see what we cannot who hold the key to our development. Know it or not, we are constantly broadcasting what we really stand for, the poor and the good. Generally, we see only the latter, “blissfully” ignorant. Others see the former as well. Denying we need their input means wallowing in self-righteousness ignorance, completely unaware and uncaring of the damage we are capable of. And all the while protesting to the contrary.

The beneficial behavior arising from the inner achievement of Rest and Wu-wei does not result from years of meditating, listening to helpful lectures, or reading useful books on wisdom and transformation, good things all. That behavior results only from fearless exposure of our attachments and hypocrisies, and the often years-long effort of two-steps-forward, one-step backward as we gradually come to terms with our delusions and change our behavior for real.

When in my twenties, I had already read a great deal about Eastern thought and practice, especially the Buddhist concept of compassion for all, with which I fully agreed. Once I met a fellow at a party who assured me that he was “self-actualized,” the peak of personal success in Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Enmeshed in my false story that I both understood and applied compassion, I rudely said, “The mere fact that you had to tell me is an indication that you aren’t.” Not for many years did I realize the harm and the hypocrisy. Espousing the right things is easy. Doing them is something else altogether, and I mistook the pointing finger for the moon.

Rest and Wu-wei do not come easily.